I have that issue in another industry. They need me because of location, I handle customers in over 5 states that travel to me for the service, but I lose sales because of sales tax, or the misconception that they can service it themselves, then after purchasing the product at full retail direct from the manufacturer, they expect me to service it, and get pissy if I won't jump over the moon for them.
Then the manufacturer demands advertising budget levels and such from me, my reply is always, when you're not my competition, then we can talk about your demands.
That works in that market.
I can't even fathom why you resellers put up with it from the folks at Untangle in a software market.